STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
