why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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