she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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