his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
