I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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