i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
