i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
