the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
