this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
