having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
