i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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