I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize