Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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