Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
