Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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