Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
