I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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