If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
