these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
