i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
