i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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