Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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