I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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