Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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