I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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