I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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