Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize