Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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