he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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