Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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