Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
