Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
