Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
