I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
