Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my sisters under your porch take her home
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Mom said you looked used
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
