I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
