and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
