kristin has been a bad kristin
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
