I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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