I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
