I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
