you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
