i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
