next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
