Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
