But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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