And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
