dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
