...so i touched it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize