Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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