I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize