Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
