let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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