I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
