It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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