I'm drive I can fine osifer
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
