awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
