I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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