i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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