I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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