C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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