sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
