I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
